


Effort

by Unsolved_Macaroni



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Accidents, Anger, Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fanfiction, Feels, Fights, Male Friendship, One Shot, Sad, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, The Ghoul Boys (Buzzfeed Unsolved)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unsolved_Macaroni/pseuds/Unsolved_Macaroni
Summary: "Nah, I don't believe in ghosts." Ryan shrugged, spinning his straw around in his drink."But did you not host this paranormal show with a colleague of yours?"Colleague? That hurt.- - -Effort | Buzzfeed Unsolved fanfiction 2020
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Marielle Scott, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	Effort

\- - - 16th of January, 2019 - - -

"Nah, I don't believe in ghosts." Ryan shrugged, spinning his straw around in his drink.

"But did you not host this paranormal show with a colleague of yours?"

Colleague? That hurt.

"Yeah, that's right." Ryan exhaled loudly as he leaned back in his chair. "It's been a long time."

"What was his name again? You guys still talk?"

"Not really."

"So you weren't really friends?"

"No, we were just colleagues."

"Ah!" The man waved his finger around as if he just cracked a difficult riddle. "That's usually the case with these shows. The hosts pretend to like each other, but in real life they would not even grant each other air to breath."

Ryan stood from his chair. He was getting sick of the beer stench that he was sure was soaking into his clothes by now. But what really sickened him was the stale talk with the bartender. He finished his drink before saying:

"It was not like that in our case, the problem with us was him giving me too much air to breath."

Ryan threw some money onto the counter, grabbed his coat and was out of the building and onto the streets before the nosy bartender could respond.

\- - - 23rd of January, 2019 - - -

"What's your biggest regret in life?"

That question had stuck with Ryan all day long. During work, during lunch, it haunted his every thought. It was the question he had heard a teenager asking a friend. To them it probably had been fun and games, but to Ryan the question felt suffocating.

He could not let go of it.

\- - - 2nd of February, 2019 - - -

Marielle squealed into Ryan's chest as another jump-scare popped up onto the big screen. She felt Ryan flinch as well. Marielle looked up at him laughing. She noticed Ryan was pretending as if the scares did not bother him as he smiled silly at her.

\- - - 21st of February, 2019 - - -

Paper wrappings were covering the kitchen counter. As Marielle unwrapped the last frame she collected the other wrappings and threw them in the litter bin. She placed the frame next to the other two and took a step back. With her hands on her hips she studied the colors and shapes of the butterflies complementing each other.

She and Ryan had decided to buy some decorations for the empty walls in their apartments. When Ryan's eyes had met the bright colors of the framed butterflies in the vintage store he had went quiet for a little while, before showing them to Marielle, who agreed upon buying them.

As Ryan entered the kitchen Marielle walked towards the frames again. Picking them up and holding them against walls she thought they might look nice on.

"I like that." Ryan said, taking a bite out of an apple.

"Yeah?" Marielle said as she gently tilted her head, slightly adjusting the height she placed the frame on.

"Remember that Shane really liked those?" She said. At the mention of his name Ryan's blood ran cold.

"Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that."

\- - - 28th of March, 2019 - - -

"Fuck you, Ryan."

Those were the last words Shane had said to Ryan. Tears present in his eyes with balled fists. He had never seen Shane so upset, and the worst part about it; it was because of him.

He still saw the image clear as day in his mind after three years. Shane's words still felt like a fresh wound that kept bleeding and would not heal. If Shane's words made him feel so terrible, he could not imagine how Shane was feeling. Ryan had been awful to Shane during the last moment they spend together and he regretted that so much. He wanted nothing more than to have his best friend back, but he did not know how. Sure he could apologise, but he was not sure if that would be enough.

Ryan really did not want to think about that last day, those memories made him want to throw up.

"You okay, Ryan?" Marielle snapped Ryan out of his thoughts. She carefully caressed his hand with her thumb.

"Hm? Oh yeah, just thinking about work." He answered, pecking her lips.

\- - - 4th of April, 2019 - - -

Ryan saw goosebumps form on Marielle's moonlit skin. He quickly took off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, smiling at her boyfriend. It was cold out tonight, especially after having been inside all night.

"Did you enjoy the show?"

"I did, but Ryan we need to talk." Marielle stopped walking to turn towards Ryan. Facing him she said: "Ryan I know why you're doing this..."

"W-What do you mean?" He stuttered.

"I'm really enjoying all these theatrical shows, I am... But why won't you just call him?"

What Marielle said surprised Ryan and felt like a slap to his face.

Marielle looked into Ryan's eyes, awaiting a response. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and she did not like it. When no answer came she spoke again.

"It seems as if nowadays you do everything to...impress Shane? Or..." She shook her head once. "I'm not really sure what you're trying to do."

Ryan let his head fall, not daring to look at Marielle as if she could read his thoughts if he did. She was right though. Ever since Shane and him had went their separate ways Ryan had changed little things about himself to Shane's liking. Maybe it was just his way of coping with the empty feeling that came with losing his best friend, or maybe he just hoped that Shane could somehow see his efforts and be impressed. Maybe it was his weird way of letting Shane know he still liked him, that he desperately wanted to become friends again, although there was no way Shane could know about Ryan's efforts. Shane had moved back to Illinois together with Sara soon after their fight and had turned all his social media on private. As far as Ryan was aware Shane had disappeared from the face of the earth, and it hurt.

As if all of Ryan's effort were necessary in the first place. Shane had liked Ryan for being Ryan, not for being some copy of Shane. Still though, Ryan could not help it.

"Ryan, look at me." She said softly.

His gaze turned from the pavement to Marielle's sympatetic eyes.

"Please call him tomorrow?"

Ryan blinked before nodding his head.

"I will."

\- - - 5th of April, 2019 - - -

"Did you hear about that scary car accident in Illinois yesterday? Some truck driver fell asleep behind the steering wheel and rammed into three cars on the freeway."

A particular conversation a few desks down the office sparked Ryan's attention. He looked up from the laptop screen towards the two people talking.

"Shit, really? Were there any wounded?"

"I heard two people had to go to the hospital, they're doing pretty badly."

"That's terrible..."

Before Ryan realised what he was doing he had already Google searched the car accident. Scrolling through different news outlets, he chose one.

"ILLINOIS - TRUCK DRIVER FALLS ASLEEP BEHIND STEERING WHEEL DRIVING INTO THREE CARS, LEAVING MAN (33) AND WOMAN (24) CRITICALLY INJURED."

Ryan's breathing hitched in his throat when he realised the man shared the same age with Shane. His heart seemed to rise up to his throat as he searched for his phone. With trembling hands he barely managed to type in Shane's number, he still remembered it by heart. His thumb hovered over the call button for a few seconds, suddenly realising that he was about to call his lost best friend that he had not seen for over three years.

It did not matter, he needed to know if Shane was alright.

Ryan pressed the button.

"Please pick up, Shane..." Ryan whispered, his foot nervously tapping the ground.

\- - - 12th of April, 2019 - - -

Ryan heard muffled talking behind him while he looked at Shane's grave. The sky rumbled as rain kept falling. Dark clouds rolled in front of the sun, the sun that was barely even there to begin with, leaving Shane and Ryan in the smothering shadow.

He was finally together with his friend, but not in the way he ever wished for.

Sara had not said anything to him yet during the entire funeral service. She had not even looked at him. Ryan heard her say thanks to the last family members before they left the funeral home. Footsteps crept up behind Ryan and he saw Sara stand beside him through the corner of his eyes. He quickly wiped his tears away.

After a while she spoke.

"He was sorry, you know..." Sara let out a shaky sigh. "He... he said to me so many times 'should I call him? I really wanna call him'. And I always said 'just do it Shane, it's not too late yet!' ... Now it is too late and I just wish..." She covered her mouth with her hand and let out a muffled sob.

Ryan bit his lip at hearing her cry but did not look at her, his eyes never left Shane's grave stone. He heard Sara sharply inhale.

"I just wish I would have pushed him a little more. For his sake. He missed you so much, Ryan."

Ryan's vision became blurry as tears formed in his eyes.

"He was never the same again after you guys went your separate ways... I mean I like to believe he found happiness again after a while, and I think he really was happy at some point... But just never the same."

A terrible, sickening feeling of regret seeped its way into Ryan's stomach and throat, making it hard to breath.

"It slowly ate away at him. I hated seeing him that way." Sara spoke through clenched teeth. "I really should have pushed him more, so he could have been truly happy again. I don't know what exactly happened between you two that day, he never told me... But it changed him."

His tears finally dropped onto the ground mixing with the rain puddles. Tears kept leaving Ryan's eyes. He wished the agonising sadness could leave as well.

"I just thought you should now."

Ryan felt responsible for making Shane feel this way. He could have called him, the road goes both ways.

"Do you have a picture of him...? Like a recent one I mean?" Ryan asked, glad his voice sounded pretty stable. He finally looked at Sara, and got startled by her appearance. He felt so bad for her. She looked exhausted, her eyes were bloodshot and sunken with sadness. A veil of grief and sorrow hung around her. He guessed he himself did not look any better though.

Sara nodded as she opened her black purse, taking out her phone. After a few second she handed it to Ryan.

"This was two weeks ago..., a week before the accident."

Ryan gently took the phone from her, suddenly feeling reluctant to look at the picture. What he saw made him feel happy and sad at the same time. He felt happy to finally see his friend again, even if it were just on a phone. But sad knowing he could never see him in real life anymore. Sara had been right, that familiar mischievous glint of happiness was not present in Shane's eyes, and it hurt Ryan more than he could have ever imagined. It physically made his heart tighten in a hurtful way thinking about that his best friend had never been able to truly find happiness again after they separated and had died unhappy.

He handed the phone back to Sara and muttered a "Thank you."

A few minutes spent in silence passed before Sara turned around and left the grave yard. Leaving Ryan alone with his best friend's grave.

\- - - 13th of April, 2019 - - -

Coming home into the house he had spend so much time in with Shane made Ryan feel unbearably lonely, even though Marielle had been there to catch him into a hug as he stepped through the front door.

He had pushed her away after a while of frustration and anger boiling up inside of him. As he walked over to the wall he and Marielle had hung the framed butterflies, she tried to stop him. The angry look in his eyes already told her what he was going to do. Marielle desperately clawed at his arms but he jerked them loose from her grip.

"Ryan don't-" She covered her mouth as he tore the frames from the wall throwing them onto the ground. He screamed as he kicked them once, glass scraping across the tiled floor. The wings of the butterflies ripping in half. His efforts of comforting the sadness he felt over losing his best friend suddenly seemed even more pathetic, now that he had lost his friend for perpetuity. Marielle closed her eyes in shock, her trembling hands still covering her mouth as tears continued rolling down her cheeks. In this moment she knew Ryan was never going to be the same.

Ryan pulled at his hair, screaming in defeat as he walked towards their bathroom. He shut the door with a loud bang before the house went quiet again.

He should have just called.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it a lot! :)


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